I have had this on my mind ever since it occurred. It seemed as sad as a hawk with a broken wing.
We had begun a journey with very little plans in mind. I have spontaneity in my heart that makes drastic movement a necessity. I travel naturally. So, I brought my boyfriend on board for a drive down through California.
The trip was a meditation through the desert. The border at a new state, Arizona, was exciting to cross. The sun was setting, and rock of flat tops and orange lines made an impression. I have a profound interest in the earth's land. The formations spoke of grandeur, of Native history, of deep meditation and of nirvana. The desert's harsh landscape has the power to extract a humanly connection to the mystery of the universe. It is the plainest backdrop for discovery, which makes the search all the more motivated.
As we found by road sign, the Grand Canyon was only 200 miles away. That was the destination of this exploration I decided, because New Mexico seemed too many gas tanks away. That night we ventured to the shore of Lake Havasu, and we finally held each other in the distant feeling of our surroundings. Our bodies came close together with love. The sun had set and left a light blue glow to hint through the black shadow of tree and brush. There appeared a silver glimmer across the watery surface. I felt the subtle power of this state's land crawling into my mind's eye.
We felt compelled to a night of gambling in a near by town, which was suggested to us by a nice Arizonan, who had also offered up his couch for the night. We thanked him for his kindness, but opted for another adventure over a hill. Of course, it turned out, we would be going to Nevada for the casino. We laughed, because no one we had talked to had mentioned the fact that this town, so highly regarded by the Arizonans, was in a completely different state!
The colors glistened like candy against the night. So many flavors lighting up the dark desert. A building ignited in a green glow piqued my interest. But, we followed the ant like movement of blue hues crawling in a neon light display of water into another. The casino was as boxed in as it would be. Shiny lights, colors, sounds, little outfits for the thin waitresses, and drinks and cigarettes welcomed guests to put there money on the table or in machines to watch it fade away. I decided after two dollars that I was over the gambling life. My boyfriend found himself in a frenzy, as he was gaining number money in a game of Blackjack. The turmoil of his excitement, left him confused and down ten dollars. Casinos are a bust, let's go.
We slept beneath the stars, but in the warmth of the back of my car and each others arms. It was the best nights sleep that we had after confessing our deep love and appreciation for one another. We awoke early and headed south to Arizona once again.
On the way towards the Grand Canyon, the ride was wonderfully freeing feeling. The wonder of one of the world's "seven" was an excitement that can be described as an emptiness, a peace, and a belief. We traveled up through an Indian Reservation to the Grand Canyon, passing a beautiful canyon along the way. Finally out in the horizon I could see a long expansive strip of purple and red rock, which appeareay along the d to be the sun setting in land form. A mystical layer of mist covered the top of what I saw.
Little did I know that once we arrived, the destination would make me feel that I did not want to be there. We slowly followed a couple cars into a fenced off area. My nose crinkled as I watched old Native American Indian women dancing to a sacred song playing through speakers over a picnic area. We were told our directions and I felt like I was in prison. Huge buses were standing in our way, and silver helicopters, and barbed wire fences also. I felt forced into submitting to a role of tourist with cash in my pocket. I was discerned as we followed form into the building to purchase tickets. We passed up a large white couple taking pictures with a Native man dressed accordingly, and European and Japanese tourists too. We are from California and we wanted to see the nature of our neighbor state. Why am I being corralled into this situation, I wondered? At the front desk we discovered the appalling price given to viewing the natural wonder and the tourist bus we needed to ride. I was disgusted.
The Native tribe was doing all that it could to make money off their land. I understand, that this is what the white people who inhabited America have ultimately forced them to do. They have little money to survive with and are a struggling nation. This innovative amusement park surely puts dollars in their pockets and that is commendable, yes. There was something so wrong with the situation though, and there was a huge fence blocking the what was right.
I was angry, because It feels like the worst wrongdoing that nature be guarded, fenced up and made into an attraction that a human must pay to access. The earth is free. I understand that the land has been marked as reservation land, and so it is not really public. So, now I ask what is the cost spent by the Native tribe? What have they sacrificed for their money making set up?
I think a lot. The principles of their culture have been withheld as they have adopted a (western/European) mode of functioning. They are not sharing or glorifying the land. Instead, they are exploiting it. They leave visitors uninspired by the spirit of nature and unconnected to their Native history.
There should be a shift in consciousness soon where people begin to see the importance of being one with the land, and feeling the spiritual in its beauty. The opposite was being done on this reservation, and I felt that the people were losing themselves by offering the land in such a capitalistic manner.
I admire the Native American's for their culture and beliefs so much. What I know about them seems to be something so ideal in its capacities of being one with the earth and the spirits of the galaxy.
That is something that we
all will soon learn as the world continues to turn.
